Let it snow... let it snow

 

“The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches.”
― E.E. Cummings

 

This morning more snow came down. I went out and shoveled the driveway. It reminds me of something I read over 15 years ago… I’ll type it from my poor memory:

 

Monday

Last night it snowed. We got a beautiful 4 inches of fluffy white snow. This was the first snow of the year. Many more inches of joy will be coming down over the winter. I just love winter!

I put my mittens, a warm coat and went out to clean the driveway. After about half an hour, my wife brought me hot cocoa, she gave me a quick kiss, we started throwing snow ball at each other, just plain fun. I finished clearing the driveway and was on my way back inside when the snow plow went by. Those guys are doing a fantastic job at keeping our streets cleared from snow.  I waved at him while he cleaned our street. I didn’t mind, it gave me a good workout! I was smiling at the driver and he waved back.

We need milk; I took the car and drove to the store. You have to remember to change your driving habit for winter condition. A dear crossed right in front of me, I wished I had had my camera.

Tuesday

This winter will be a “good” one; another 6 inches of snow fell down. I got my mittens, my coat and went shovelling. I was about finished when the snow plow came back. He left me with about 3 feet of hard packed snow to shovel.

Wednesday

Come on now, we got a foot of snow… what the heck! I put on my mittens, the coat and when out AGAIN. If I hear one more time Bing Crosby signing I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, I’m going to send him a truck load of that white shit!

I swear the son of a bitch on the snow plow is waiting at the end of the street for me to finish cleaning up the driveway, to come down and shove the entire load from the street in my just-cleaned-driveway. I gave him the finger; he flipped his finger back at me!

                                                                                                                       

Thursday

WHAT THE HELL!!!! A foot and a half of the frozen white poo came down. My mittens are still wet from yesterday. My coat is just not arctic proof!  

My back is killing me and I’m starting to have blisters from holding the devil scooper. I just don’t know where to put the damn shit anymore. I have to lift the shovel 5 feet just to dump my load over the bank.

By the time I got back home, removed the mittens and the coat, I heard the plow go by. That is one lucky driver, if I had been outside when he came, I would have jumped on his truck and made him eat the shovel, the bastard.

I went back outside and shovelled the new load off.

My wife told me we ran out of milk. Since I already had my coat on, I hurried up to the store. A deer jumped right in front of the car. I swerved and missed it by a fraction of an inch, however, the plow didn’t bother to clean this part and I lost control of the car. I went right into the snow bank, which was hiding a brick wall. The car is totalled! I wish I had my gun; I would have shut that four legged beast!

 

Friday

FUCK THERE IS MORE FREEZING WATER COMING DOWN. The house is for sale, we are moving to Mexico. SCREW YOU ALL in this un-bearable land!!!!