My brain just
refuses to believe my eyes. I’m in front of the empty room looking from left to
right, floor to ceiling, I can see all those bare shelves but it doesn’t make
sense.
Where is my LIST
©? I’m wondering. I quickly review last night’s routine; as usual, I turned off
the lights in the safe, closed and locked the door and armed the security
system. Every thing was in order. The LIST © was right there, I went to bed with
the knowledge that today would be like any other day.
You have to
understand that the LIST © is like my own flesh and blood. Without it, my life
is meaningless! How am I supposed to deliver presents when I don’t know who has
been good and who has been bad? What if I give to the naughtiest, what kind of
message would I be sending to the whole world. I can’t move but my mind is all
over the place.
It’s not even
09:00 AM, I haven’t had my breakfast yet, but I decide that eggnogs will do for
today. I need something to boost my spirit and keep me focus on the task at
hand. By the time I reach for the bottle, I realize eggnog will not be strong
enough, I go for Tequila instead. I don’t even bother with a glass, as this is
an emergency, drinking from the bottle will do.
Let me say this,
drinking Tequila in the morning, on an empty stomach, is not one of my best ideas!
At first, my mind is so focused making a plan as I on the other hand am busy lowering
the bottle level.
I call the police…
“911 what is your
emergency?”
“I am dying over
here” I barely voice.
“Mam stay on the
line, we have an emergency vehicle heading to your place right now.”
“Could you ask
them to get me breakfast while at it?”
“Mam?”
Gulp gulp “Never
mind, I think I’m OK”
“Mam can you hear
the sirens?”
“YES! Why do they
have to be so loud?”
“Mam can you go
and open the door?”
“The door is opened,
the room is empty, which is why I called…”
Somewhere in my
tequila brain I can hear loud knocks. Oh it’s the front door. I go to the door,
open it, and who is there? Officer Malone from the SPPD! The eggnog just hit the fan!
“Officer Malone! Nice
to see you, come on in.” In my drunken stage, I know I’m missing something, and
then it hits me. I have to be careful with him, the last time we saw each
other, I got a ride to the Ginger Bread mad house.
“Mam have we met
before?”
“NO!” I answer too
quickly. “I read your name tag!” I add, slowing down my speech.
I’m telling myself
“Krissie get hold of yourself, you can’t afford another ride with him,
Christmas is just a few weeks away, time is of the essence”.
All the while with
a stupid grin on my face, I’m thinking: “It’s a good thing I’m not topless, I
don’t want it to ring a jingle bell in his suspicious officer brain.” It’s hard not to giggle out loud!
“What is your
problem?” he asks.
“My list is missing”
I honestly answer.
“Your list? You
called 911 because you lost a list?”
“Don’t be silly
officer Malone that would be crazy, no one called for a list. What I meant to
say was all of my books have been stolen.” Did I just say crazy? I certainly don’t
want him to associate “crazy” and “me”!
“Mam we have more
important calls to answer than book thefts. Just go to the station, WHEN YOU CAN DRIVE, and fill
up a police report.”
“Please, call me
Krissie.” If it was not for a police officer being present, I would have kicked
myself so hard; last Christmas, I wouldn’t give any personal identification,
and here I am in my drunken madness just throwing it out there.
“Would you care
for a sip of my Tequila?” Smooth,
Krissie, offering booze to a police officer at 9 AM!
He just turns
around heading for the door.
“Please don’t go!”
I barely have time to say before a curtain of darkness surrounds me.
That tequila certainly took a long on you. Thank goodness you weren't driving the sleigh. Imagine crash landing on the roofs of homes!
ReplyDeleteMartha, I'm usually a girl that can hold her liquor... but I shouldn't mix it with stress. If you ever hear a 'bang' on Christmas night, please come up on the roof, I might be in need of assistance!
DeleteKrissie
Krissie, Krissie, get it together, gurl. We need you on Christmas eve!
ReplyDelete- Hairy Toes
HT, HT, I'm trying my best but sometimes things just get away from you! I wish movies were how reality happen and a guy, built like Rambo, would come to my help!
DeleteKrissie
Should we leave some Tequila out with our cookies from now on??
ReplyDelete-WWE
WWE what a wonderful idea, by the way, you are still on the fence as soon I find my list!
DeleteKrissie