20/20 eyes sight (30 Shades of Christmas – 12)

My brain just refuses to believe my eyes. I’m in front of the empty room looking from left to right, floor to ceiling, I can see all those bare shelves but it doesn’t make sense.

Where is my LIST ©? I’m wondering. I quickly review last night’s routine; as usual, I turned off the lights in the safe, closed and locked the door and armed the security system. Every thing was in order. The LIST © was right there, I went to bed with the knowledge that today would be like any other day.

You have to understand that the LIST © is like my own flesh and blood. Without it, my life is meaningless! How am I supposed to deliver presents when I don’t know who has been good and who has been bad? What if I give to the naughtiest, what kind of message would I be sending to the whole world. I can’t move but my mind is all over the place.

It’s not even 09:00 AM, I haven’t had my breakfast yet, but I decide that eggnogs will do for today. I need something to boost my spirit and keep me focus on the task at hand. By the time I reach for the bottle, I realize eggnog will not be strong enough, I go for Tequila instead. I don’t even bother with a glass, as this is an emergency, drinking from the bottle will do.

Let me say this, drinking Tequila in the morning, on an empty stomach, is not one of my best ideas! At first, my mind is so focused making a plan as I on the other hand am busy lowering the bottle level.

I call the police…

“911 what is your emergency?”

“I am dying over here” I barely voice.

“Mam stay on the line, we have an emergency vehicle heading to your place right now.”

“Could you ask them to get me breakfast while at it?”

“Mam?”

Gulp gulp “Never mind, I think I’m OK”

“Mam can you hear the sirens?”

“YES! Why do they have to be so loud?”

“Mam can you go and open the door?”

“The door is opened, the room is empty, which is why I called…”

Somewhere in my tequila brain I can hear loud knocks. Oh it’s the front door. I go to the door, open it, and who is there? Officer Malone from the SPPD! The eggnog just hit the fan!

“Officer Malone! Nice to see you, come on in.” In my drunken stage, I know I’m missing something, and then it hits me. I have to be careful with him, the last time we saw each other, I got a ride to the Ginger Bread mad house.

“Mam have we met before?”

“NO!” I answer too quickly. “I read your name tag!” I add, slowing down my speech.

I’m telling myself “Krissie get hold of yourself, you can’t afford another ride with him, Christmas is just a few weeks away, time is of the essence”.

All the while with a stupid grin on my face, I’m thinking: “It’s a good thing I’m not topless, I don’t want it to ring a jingle bell in his suspicious officer brain.”  It’s hard not to giggle out loud!

“What is your problem?” he asks.

“My list is missing” I honestly answer.

“Your list? You called 911 because you lost a list?”

“Don’t be silly officer Malone that would be crazy, no one called for a list. What I meant to say was all of my books have been stolen.” Did I just say crazy? I certainly don’t want him to associate “crazy” and “me”!

“Mam we have more important calls to answer than book thefts. Just go to the station, WHEN YOU CAN DRIVE, and fill up a police report.”

“Please, call me Krissie.” If it was not for a police officer being present, I would have kicked myself so hard; last Christmas, I wouldn’t give any personal identification, and here I am in my drunken madness just throwing it out there.

“Would you care for a sip of my Tequila?”  Smooth, Krissie, offering booze to a police officer at 9 AM!

He just turns around heading for the door.

“Please don’t go!” I barely have time to say before a curtain of darkness surrounds me.

To be continued…