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This is not an express route. Where ever my mind travels to, the blog will ride shotgun.
This journey is mainly fuelled by humour!

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Dreaming ZZzzzZz

In Europe, we had a tent trailer and travel all over with it. It was real camping, no electricity, no fridge, NO WATER, not even propane and if you can believe it, no TV. The longest we travelled there was for a whole month. For that trip, my wife sister and her husband came to visit, not having a palace to receive them, we escape the embarrassment by “going” with the tent trailer. We traveled to Norway, Denmark, Netherlands, Belgium, France, Switzerland, Austria and back in Germany with a stopped in the Bavaria. This seems like a lot but in Europe, most of the countries are really small.

When we will be retire, we will usually be travelling 6 months per year, and those months will be from November to May (give or take few weeks). When we are going to leave in November, we will be getting out of Dodge as fast as we can. The truck and trailer aim straight south. So most of the time, we will be crossing New York, Pennsylvania, Virginia as fast as… the speed limit (We won’t be able to slow down or the water in the trailer could freezeJ). When the weather get warm enough, we will be slowing down and start visiting Mid South states.

The first few years, I think we will be going more on the west side, probably spending 3 or 4 of winter’s month in Texas, New Mexico and/or Arizona. By the time we get really old (possibly 55 ha ha), we might just slow down and go to Florida.

I wish that we would have the freedom to just never stop. We are from the province of Québec, and we have to be back for 6 months per year to keep all the health benefits. There is an exception, every 7 years, we can ask for an exemption to be gone for a whole year. We are thinking about starting with this exemption, which would mean, we start our journey November 2013, in April 2014 we will have the exemption applied, an then in November 2014 we start our second year (18 full months).

This is fine but… we can’t spend more than 6 months, in a calendar year, in the US or we could be considered resident for the IRS. There is more technical issues but I don’t want to get into that now, please check in November 2013, I will have most of the in/out of the rules. This really limits the number of northern states we can visit.

My sister in law and her husband didn’t get bored-up with the experience of travelling in the tent trailer. They bought a motorhome and are fulltimer now; I think they have been fulltimer for over 10 years (that’s lot of experience!). For the first year travelling, we might travel together; this will be a great time for us to share their knowledge. They will be also up for the 7 years exemption; we are planning this spring to spend time with them and start some itinerary planning.   

Monday, January 30, 2012

Week 1





This is the first week of my goal of loosing 60 pounds. After the whole week, I can affirm that I survive…

For the first 20 weeks, my goal is to loose 1 pound per week. Those should be really easy to do.

Total weight lost week 1: 3.2 pounds

This is considerably over what I had planned… but it is what I expected. It will stabilize somewhat in a few weeks, I’m sure.

I didn’t find it difficult; using Spark people is really helpful. I have to record everything I eat; Spark People keep the total of the calories consumed. There is a running total for the day and I always know when I’m getting close to my daily maximum.

During that past week, I had room for wines, and chocolate covered almond. I didn’t eat half of the bag of chocolate, a good thing we bought some kitchen scale and measure reasonable portions. No returning trip, but it was plenty! If at the end of the day, I don’t have room, I would not eat anything. This didn’t happen once last week, I always had plenty of rooms.

One smiling portion of chocolate covered almond
Just in case Cruella is reading this, I drank every day 8 cups of water (NOT!!!), I really have problem drinking that much in a day. I will try to do better but, it seems that sitting at work, I drink a lot more than in the weekend.

The suitcase of my daughter (in Spain) was lost on transit. They found it and delivered it to her hotel. Ouf! she doesn’t have to just go without change of clothes for the week. We are not getting much news from her, she has Internet, however she doesn’t have an adaptor for the electricity. Her notebook has a battery life of 6 hours, so she really is saving it the most she can. If you never been in Europe, the electrical plug are different from the one we have in North America, and the electricity over there is 220 Volts / 50 cycles and here it is 110 Volts / 60 cycles. Her notebook can operate on both voltages, all she need is a $19.95 adaptor that you can buy at Walmart grrrr.

For the next 2 pictures, ladies please remember I am married!


 

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Camping Lac Vert

Today, I propose to you a tour of our camping in pictures. If you click on the picture, it will open in a bigger size.


Hurry up Richard It's cold!






To start off, here's one where you can see the 3 most important elements of my retirement plan
Small trailer, Model Park, and the wife.








Below you can see our friends' trailers… Of course, there is no trace of even one of them.  They escaped the winter to go South… Soooo unbecoming of a Canadian J! I won’t give their names just because I didn’t ask for their permission. Being retired, to suplement their income, they might just take this oportunity to sue me! What really impresses me is that four of the couples'daughter and/or son are in the same camping.









Last evening, we had set up the camera to film our deer... we waited... we waited... they didn't come. This morning, I could see the traces they left all over the basket of feed, grrrr I bet you they were watching, and waiting for us to go to bed. Next time, I will try again.  I don't mind staying up the whole night, waiting... I'll show them who is the smartest one!


 Now don’t get confuse, this is NOT chocolate covered almond, this is the by-product of feeding the deer.

















This is the “Chapiteau”, in winter they store all the picnic tables that belong to the camping. In summer, this is the central location where bingo, movie, gathering for party were conducted. There is not enough room for every one underneath.  The biggest event is a michoui and somehow the social committee seems to always choose a date where there is no rain... Unbelievable people!








This is our brand new, not yet finished, club house. Next summer I’ll give you a tour.















I heard that the sale of ice is not too good lately.











This is a spot, I try to NOT GO TO in the summer. There are kids, making noises, laughing loudly… They should remove it… Kids should stay inside their parent’s trailer and play video games!













Here is the beach area… so much white sand… and not crowd-eh!












There is a water slide.  In the summer there are children using it, but if you are an adult you get dirty looks! In winter ALL mine.


If you are smiling... it might be frozen on your face!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Friday news

Yesterday, around 11:00, we drove our daughter to the airport. She is going to Valencia (Spain) to the International Conference Digital Society where she will be presenting her research about 3D printers.

She had 3 planes to take; Ottawa – Montréal, Montréal – Zurich (Switzerland), ZurichValencia.

We got at the airport around 11:45, it was raining with a mixture of icing rain. From home, she had checked and all flights were on schedule. We dropped her off at the airport and drove to our trailer in Val-des-Bois. Her first flight was scheduled to depart Ottawa at 13:50.

We haven't been to the trailer for almost 3 weeks. We don’t keep heat in the trailer, so the first thing we did was to start the central heat, and a space heater. The temperature inside was around 0° C (32° F).

Following that, we shovelled 3 previous weeks of snow. It was not too bad, it took less than half an hour for my wife and I to clear enough to park the car and open a path to the door of the trailer.

I got the basket of food out for our deer (Two came in the evening around nine to enjoy the free meal. I’ll try to get a small movie of them and post it probably Monday)

It was around 14:00 when we finally entered the trailer. The first thing I did was to connect the laptop and check the email. Our daughter had left 3 messages; the first one was about 45 minutes before her flight, she was enjoying the lunch my wife prepared. The second email was 30 minutes before the flight; she confirmed that everything was on schedule. Not even 5 minutes after, she wrote one sentence: her flight has been cancelled.

OMG knowing my daughter, she must have been in a panic mode at the airport, the first leg of her trip was cancelled! We haven’t gotten direct news from her since, she wrote a brief note to her sister from someone else's cell, to say that everything was OK.

By the time I post this, she is likely in her hotel in Valencia, getting some ZZzz!

If my daughter is smiling… Hola Julie!

Update:

Email we received from  Julie:

My trip involved:
- 6 planes (including the cancelled and missed connection).
- 2 trips through security in Ottawa.
- 2 times where I was grateful my bag is so easy to recognize.
- 1 The Amazing Race style run through an airport, barely keeping up with a much older couple.
- 1 British girl living in Valencia who speaks Spanish and somehow managed to get all the same flights as me.
- 1 temporarily misplaced checked bag, which I will hopefully get delivered to the hotel tomorrow morning. British girl was VERY useful.
- 2 look at beautiful buildings in Madrid.
- 1 delicious croissant.
- 1 hilarious metro mix-up
- An arrival time of 16h00ish Valencia

I'm going to buy myself a plug for my netbook, and I'm gonna go eat supper, and I'm going to wash my clothes in the shower and hang them to dry, and shower, and hang out in my hotel room for the rest of the night!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Technical difficulties

Could someone, anyone, STOP the advance of technology! Please I beg you, enough with all the gadgets… I have been in neutral for a long time, probably some defence mechanism against changes. I am no GEEK, I had a solid technical background, could fix radio, teletypes, telephone, telephone switch system, and toasters. It was easy then, just get my multi-meter out, and bang the broken piece with it… Tada! Like new.

I remember in the early eighties, my wife was sometimes ‘on call’ and she was carrying a pager (remember those). When we were going out, as a joke (of course), I would volunteer to carry it on my belt. At the time, having a pager the size of a small fridge… you looked important! When you got to the restaurant, you made sure it was visible and that got you the best table, and, in case of an emergency, close to the exit. Too bad it didn’t stop there!

I remember in the mid eighties, watching a documentary, where they were telling us that soon we would all carry a card to pay for any expenses. This fantastic card would take your money directly from your bank account! I thought it was a joke, who in their right mind would want one of those. Apparently a lot of us insane one did!

In those years, I was running to try to stay abreast with technology… a good thing I was in shape! We were buying computers, which after a couple of moons were obsolete, and then you just got a bigger better one. I had really good dreams… Pentium 2, Pentium 3, 40 meg hard drive, 340 meg, 1 giga… holy crap… The one who came up with “size doesn’t matter” had never had seen a computer. He/she probably wrote that statement on a piece of napkins (if someone find that napkins… on ebay $$$$$$$$).

We got our first TV recorder then. There was that fight between VHS/BETA, we went with a BETA… For the price we paid for it, I could be retired  and living in a castle (probably hire all the staffs to run the place too). It lasted MAYBE half a year, everything shifted toward VHS grrr. You could record 2 shows at the same time; all that was required was to buy 2 of those “wallet emptier” boxes. Learn to program them, check that the tape has enough room to record, and pray that when you want to watch, it was there.

Let’s not forget about cameras.  Back then, we bought a CANON 35mm, you could aim, press, send the roll to a place to develop them, and after a month, enjoy seeing your out of focus pictures. Easy enough! If we could just have stopped there... we bought a VHS Camera, you could carry it anywhere –that is if you were into weight lifting! I don’t know how many times it would have been nice to have the camera with us.

The one thing I hate the most: telephone. If it were only me, the telephone would be in the trash can to never be seen again. Can you tell I’m not a fan? I might just be difficult to please.  There are plenty of telemarketers out there that only want to talk to me.  They supposedly have exactly what I want and they don’t mind if I have just sat down to enjoy a meal, after all, it is worth their time!

Of course when talking about telephone, I am including cellular.  I had one, got rid of it! It was a simple one, you have buttons to dial a number and buttons to answer and some others that the functionality escapes me but that I always pushed when trying to answer a call. Now, you have all these features that come with it, camera, texting, Internet access, MP3 player, and sometimes, you can even use it to call or receive a call… 

Now the kids out there (I am not age discriminating… you might all be kids), you might need an intervention if you do any of the following:

Can’t spend 5 minutes in a restaurant talking with a ‘in front of you’ person without checking if you got email, text, etc.

You go to the store, you won’t say hello to the cashier because you are having an important conversation with your spouse about the migration of the butterfly.  And, when the cashier says “$24.57 please” you look at her like “Don’t you see, I am on the phone!” and then look at the next customer in line, waiting for them to acknowledge their valid point!

At work, your cell rings more often than your office phone.

You bring the offending piece of crap everywhere… washroom, movie theatre, church (there I wouldn’t mind), your coffin…

Sometimes, I dream of a simpler life, moving out in the boonies, nothing around… well maybe electricity, and not to get bored, a TV – No cable (Satellite will do) , if we have satellite, might as well have Internet, a little laptop, possibly a Magic-jack, a Personal Video Recorder for those winter nights… Wouldn’t that be something!

If you are smiling… beep beep beep

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Heavy breathing

I’m starting to write without knowing the destination. Being a programmer, everything must be structured… I’m out of my comfort zone!

"Nothing is exactly what’s gonna happen… if nothing is what you do!" – Unknown

One more quote I have on my wall at work. I keep all kind of material to stay motivated… but it doesn’t work. I am just getting too close to the end of my working life to get into ‘enjoying’ the challenges provided at the office. I used to be involved, for the longest time I was the ‘master’ of the canteen. Ha ha just trying to find a title for the guy that was going and buying chips, pops and candy bar. Haven’t been that involved for decades.

I have seen some colleagues, close to retirement, starting to act differently. At the time, I asked myself –What is that all about? If you are not married to your work, no matter how much you enjoy it, you will change. Your priority system just switches to ‘you’ and not to the ‘organisation’. It’s normal, I think, but what do I know about normal ahah! For too long work came first… often neglecting what was good for me. The younger workers today are more in tune with their own need – Good for them!

Our union is in negotiation, and I don’t care. For me, they could just sign anything, it will not change much as far as my retirement goes. As long as, I’m not asked to go out (it’s freaking cold out!), they can sign anything they want (or anything they can). Of course, I’m not looking at the next 20 years or so…

I think I am learning to breathe… (if I was allowed… I'd say "smell the coffee" :). I learned that if something is late and you did your best… you did your best! There is NO need to stress about it. In my case, the panic button has been removed! At one time, I almost had a break down. At that time, the more I tried to get ahead the deeper I got and the slower I became. Breathe Richard Breathe! Once I had a couple of energizing breath in me, I started to move again. I also started to leave the responsibilities of everything to the right persons. Team work is not only about work! You have to share with the team. The strangest thing happened, I became more efficient. I haven’t given a hoot about deadline ever since and the funny thing is that I deliver on time.

I know that we all have a special gift; you just have to find out what your gift is!  I always told my kids that the only thing I expected from them is that they do their best. I didn’t care if in school they had A, B, C , D or like me E (for Excellent ha ha). I also recognized that they each had their own individual gifts. I feel frustrated when I see a parent trying to push their kid to develop an ability that they don’t have. If you see that your child loves geography, encourage him/her whether they draw maps, they know where you are on the globe, where the rivers are, lakes, whatever.  It is so much more positive to encourage them than trying to push a subject they hate. I used Geography as an example, however, what ever they enjoy… they're going to live with themselves a lot longer than they will be with you. Just encourage them to develop their natural abilities.


If you are smiling... remember to breathe!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Cabin fever setting in

Is it spring yet? Yesterday in Ottawa we had r-a-i-n… this got me so excited… You don’t need to shovel it, and the temperature has to be over 0° C (32° F). There is no snow to swipe off the car. Did I mention, the temperature has to be over 0° C (32° F).

The past 2 weeks, it has been cold. So cold that we didn’t go to our trailer. 2 whole weekends went by and we ended up staying in the warm and comfort of our house. After 2 weeks, even my cat looks depressed about sharing her house with us. That is why I was excited by the rain…

At this point, I don’t care if there is sun after the rain… just let me out! If the weather man is not playing a bad joke on us, this weekend, we are going to do a little trailer-ing… far from Cruella. There is NO water at the trailer so I won’t have to drink 8 cups of the delicious stuff. Just joking, Cruella don’t get your blood pressure up ;).


As a test, I inserted a video of when our trailer was delivered in may 2011. As you can see, those people are my retired friends and were doing what I intend to do in 21 months: taking it easy :)



Tonight our daughter will be flying home, on her way to Spain… I can’t wait… for her to be in Spain and go to the blog. This will put a red dot in another country ha ha ha. But before leaving, she will spend 2 days with us. I tried to explain to the cat that she has to share her bedroom with the Wicked Witch from the East… This is though negotiations; I might have to give her some ‘special’ treats so that she swallows the room sharing. *news flash* She approves to share her bedroom but she will not negotiate on sharing her litter.  Things we have to do to show our kids we love them!

My memory is pretty bad, on a ‘forget’ scale of: ‘all the time’, ‘some of the time’, ‘never’ I don’t remember where I stand but it would not be the last 2. Maybe Denny Crane would say that I have ‘Mad cow Disease’.  I followed a lot of blogs, but, I forgot a lot of them too. It goes like that: I start reading some blog everyday, like if I was watching a soap (I AM NOT WATCHING SOAPS!), then something happens, it could be I go on vacation, or the blog writer doesn’t post for a few days and I forget about them. Then I remember I was following them, but, can’t find where… frustrating! One of the benefits of blogging: I have on the right side of the page all the blogs I follow. No more need for me to spend some memory space remembering them. They are right there.  In the evening I open my blog and I see them, PLUS, I see when was the last time they updated their blog. Perfect tool for me!

Today, if I don’t forget, a link to you tube… It just cracks me up!

(Just for my boss) If you are smiling… this could be bad news! 



Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Escape the ford!


In the past 10 years, I have had lots of experience reading blogs. The first blog I started to read was from Malias Miles. If memory serves me right, at the time, she was on her way to Alaska. Malia was my first “Virtual crush”. She could describe places in such a way that I always felt like I was sitting in her motorhome. I think that she is one of the “superstar” of the blogging world!

In 2001, she quitted her job, bought a motorhome and started a journey that dreams are made of. She also travels alone (well there is a catJ)…  that’s a gutsy lady!

This past summer (2011), she has been to Michigan. If it was not from that white cold stuff that covers that state, she probably would still be there. She is a fulltimer, few years back she started to slow down and now, she lives in her motorhome all yearround and travels a little less. This is why her blog is not updated as regularly.

As a dingy, she has a Ford Escape … if you don't know what a dingy is, in short, a dingy is a car pulled with a motorhome. She purchased it for that purpose, she did all kind of research and talked with all the right people, but boy does she regret that purchase.! She had so many problems, from needing to replace the transmission to having an axle that fell off… If you consider buying a Ford Escape, I’ll invite you to read her blog; there is a section just about that: Ford Escape.

I started to comment on her blog… 9 years without commenting and then I took my keyboard and pounded a couple of replies. I'll tell you a secret… comments are one of the biggest rewards of blogging. So, thank you to every one that takes the time to comment. It is also fine if you just stop by and read the blog, that's plenty encouraging.

Back to me…

This is Tuesday morning, you are all expecting to get my score card about that goal of mine to lose 60 pounds. You were not paying attention, nanana. I did say that I was starting on Monday, but since I write my blogs a day in advance, to me today is Monday. There will not be any result before next week.  

So, this is where I'm starting from:  This morning I weighed myself… the scale was scare of me stepping on it… the numbers just kept going around and around. I was expecting to see “TILT” displayed. After some ‘light’ seconds, I finally had a number (217.6)… so next week target: 216.6! I didn’t have coffee, toast, muffins or doughnut. Talk about being committed…  I drank 8 cups of water (thanks Cruella)… It is cold outside… I’m scared… What if all that liquid freezes inside me…

As planned, at lunch, I enjoyed (took me a while to find the right verb) a vegetable soup. Cruella told me in confidence that I can have a hamburger bun with it. Why a burger bun? She noticed that those buns are low in calories and still fill you up. I didn’t argue with her, just in case she decides that she is going to increase the amount of water I have to drink.

So this is day one… there is only 21 months, 8 days, 5 hours to go J



Monday, January 23, 2012

That is so mental!



This is probably a post that I will have in my favourite and go back to once in a while. “What was I thinking” type of question I'll ask myself in the next 21 months. If you see me and I seem to mumble something it could be my Mantra: “Eat to live, Not live to eat!” Here some benefits that I might enjoy:

Heavy Blogging - This is giving more meat to what I post… People might think it is more junks… Can’t control what people think… I can only blog my way, no matter what! 

Improve Sweet Health - I don't have health issues... now... it's like your Alarm clock you hit the snooze button and go back to sleep. It has been like that for me, I know that there is an alarm set, however, I keep telling myself: "One more doughnut, one more pound", and then, I go back to sleep. Because I don't have health problems, I find that it is an intangible concept but it’s time to wake up!

I could always wait for a problem to happen. But what if the problem permanently disconnects my clock... Who will feed the readers that follow this journey on the blog? You are welcome!

Get a fill of Energy - I already have a lot of it! You should see how many times I get up from the couch and go get a snack… At work, in the elevator, I always try to push my floor button before the other miss-fits. Now, if I could only bend low enough… I would really enjoy to stop and smell the roses… in season (it is winter right now and the roses bushes are under 5 feet of snow).

We bought 2 really good bikes, the main problem is that I am looking for bike trails that are only going down hill… with a strong back wind… this really limits the place where we can go, however, I could see myself pedalling uphill, against the wind, when I have gained more energy. 

A cup of better appearance – Would that be something, going to the beach and having the ladies checking ME out… they do now and they tell me: “Hey dough dough boy, could you move, you’re blocking the sun!” I am sooo self conscious about my weight; I try to stay away from mirrors.

Sex Recipe - This is from other sources I read. Apparently sex is better... I don't know what it means... do they mean you can do all the position in the Kama Sutra book? Do they mean the quantity? Or do they mean all night long? I don't know but I will let you know, all the juicy details, how often, I might post pictures! (ha ha ha I wonder how many readers will be checking this blog more often now.)

I can see my daughters and wife reaction, my kids have their hands on their ears, moving their heads in a 'no' motion... Personal message to them: "Kids you are reading this, you can block your ears canals all you want... you still gone see what I wrote!” I know, not always the brightest kids! My wife will do the proof reading of these paragraphs... I might have to hide the 'delete' key from her! She might be thinking that she is the one that is going to stop my clock!

If you are smiling... You are having a good day eh!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Weight coachs

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.  - John Updike

Friday night met with Cruella the weight coach… she wants me to drink 8 cups of water a day, coffee/beer/wine won’t do. I know what you are thinking:  “call 911 she wants to drown him” What the heck… 8 cups of water is she serious? Please if anything happens to me CALL the insurance there is something fishy and it is not coming from the fish and chips!

Now if that was not terrible enough… apparently I will have to log into Spark People every thing I eat… The site will tell me when I reach my daily limit. What about if after breakfast I have reached my limit?? “Dad you still have the water” grrrrrr I’m actively looking for a new coach, I think the interview should be done at Pizza Hut –I heard that there is an outstanding buffet!

My immediate goal for the next 20 weeks is to loose 20 pounds. You don’t need to get the calculator out… I did a quick mental calculation and it will be 1 pound a week. This is one third of my goal. But, it is the easiest. I am not planning to accomplish that by exercising…

I am really not in shape to start an exercise program. I used to run 10 km (6 miles) and really enjoyed this time. I stopped because my knees were starting to show signs of early deterioration… If I had kept it up, today I might be walking like a 60 years old man ha ha ha

To loose all those muscle (ya right!), I will be changing my bad eating habits. I will probably go all the way to the dark side and have a lot of vegetables and fruits. Yesterday I was talking about bear ‘poop’… now… let’s not go there, I wouldn’t want to loose readers tooJ. I DECIDED to change my habits; I am a bit of an excessive person, so to me it is easier to have a routine than have choices available.

For breakfast, every working day, I will have yogurt, cereal and some berries. NO coffee, nothing wrong with a cup of coffee but when I drink my coffee… muffins, donuts, toasts just seems to find their way to my mouth. It is easier to not be tempted than fighting temptation (I am NOT an exorcist to fight those temptations off!!)  

For lunch, soup with lots of vegetables, some beans, and some meat. If Cruella doesn’t know… I might get one (of the biggest in the bag I can find) soda crackers. Now if anyone at work sees me cheating… I authorize you to write to my coach: Cruella@DontEatThat.com   

Last meal (not as ever) will be our regular meal, but I will measure the quantities and only eat what I am allowed.

My coach has an assistant, the Wicked Witch of the East. If you read the post  let me get a load off, she made a long comments, she seems really reasonable. DON’T GET FOOLED by her! She was telling me to go ahead eat what I want, allow some treats if I want, but in no way she meant it. It’s only her way to start controlling my mind. Between meals, I’ll have ‘healthy” snacks, nothing else. Ah ah Wicked you will need to find other ways.   

If I reach my weekly goal of a pound, my daughter said that as a reward, I could get an extra 2 carrots sticks… I heard about the carrot and stick… I had to do more research about carrots… I learned that it’s the vegetable you give to horses as a treat… neiiight for me Cruella!

If you are smiling… nothing wrong with that!!!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Wait weight


Please do not make fun of my sign, also it's freshly pain so don't touch!

If you have been watching TV yesterday, there was a special news bulletin that announced my decision…. If you have no idea what I’m talking about… you might want to scroll down to the next post and come back after.

It has been 24 hours… I am starting to shake, sweat is pouring from all pores, I am fighting with all my will to carry on… Just to tell you how bad it is… I fed my cat this morning and those nibbles… looked pretty good to me! The cat was keeping an eye on them; I guess trust is an issue between her and me now! What’s worse… I didn’t change any thing yet… I’m encouraging myself… just 21 more months to go! Arghhhh

Why wasn’t I born as a bear? Why was my mother not mama bear? You go to bed… when you get up… Tada it is all gone… you go for breakfast, couples of juicy berries, couples of swimming salmons, couples of running tourists… mium mium.

It just reminds me of a story I read from Howard at http://www.rv-dreams-journal.com/. This is from memory… so it might be a little off… but as I remember: He was talking about an organized trip that he and his wife Linda took in the wilderness (pretty sure it was Alaska). Arriving at the site, the staff gathered everyone to give them information and safety tips before anyone ventured on a hike.

One of the safety briefings was about bears; in that area, there are brown bears and Grizzly bears. Bears being territorial animals, they were told that before going too far they should observe what kind of bear territory they were in. (I can tell you that got my attention, my wife and I will probably do a lot of hiking in the wood and I was taking notes.)

They were told that while hiking they should make some noise… some people will keep little bell tied to their shoes. This way bears can hear them from far away. Also, as a last resort, you can buy those bottles of cayenne pepper spray use it on an attacking bear.

I don’t know for you, but I had no clue how to distinguish bear territories… They were told that the best way to tell was to look for bear poop… I hope you guys had your breakfast as it is getting a little graphic here.

The brown bear ‘poop’ is smaller, and has a little acrid smell. If you look closely, you should be able to see some un-digested berries.

The grizzly’s ‘poop’ is much bigger, it has a cayenne smell and if you look closely, you can see un-digested bells. I just love this story!

Loosing weight is really easy… Your body is like a bank, and I can tell you I deposited a lot of dough! Before there is a bank crash… all I need to do is start withdrawing capital and interest. I still will need to do some deposit, otherwise I’d ended up with really deep bank fees… Every Tuesday’s post, I will give my ‘bank statement’, I will also share every new bank policy, penalty, administration. EVERY THING! I won’t wear nylon over my head going to the cashier…

Maybe some of you are wondering… Is he doing that just so that he has something to blog about? Could be! I can’t tell you that right away… I want to keep some suspense… it is not a: I show you mine, you show me yours.


If you are smiling… raise your hands this is a stick up!!!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Let me get a load off…



Sigh! It is time… I will be loosing 60 pounds before our retirement date (Nov 1st, 2013). This is 2.9 pounds per month. Boy that would be something on my almost perfect body ha ha. For sure my wife will need to get a new prescription for her glasses.

Maybe some readers from the US are wondering… “hey isn’t Canada using metric system”… Good observation eh! We do! Let me tell you that it was not the population who asked for the metric system.  It was a political decision, in the seventies, and we know that there are plants out there that have more reasoning than politicians. After about 40 years, I adopted Celsius degrees and distance in KM. But as far as centimetre... no idea… I still measure in foot and inches.  Same thing with the weight, I know what one pound of ground beef is, but don’t ask me to bring back 300 grams of it. For my weight, I know how many pounds I am… it is really light… for a Sumo wrestler! Ah maybe I should wait then. NOT!

In the next few days, I’ll work on a plan. Monday is the day that I’ll be starting to change my habits. I have a great example at home; my daughter lost more than 100 pounds… a real looser!J… I’ll try to talk her into coaching me… wouldn’t that be something! I must be getting old… taking good example from my kids… what is next? Changing my diapers! Don’t worry Caro, I’m just kidding… I can still change my own diaper, thank you very much!

Now this will be posted so that everyone can see… I won’t be able to take back what I said… Well I can always delete the post, but what about if someone, like a reporter, saw it… This is how it could go:

If you could take a deep voice to simulate the reporter (Bob) that would help with the following shit-uation:

“We are sorry to interrupt the current programming. This is a special news bulletin.”

“Hi this is Bob, we heard from reliable sources that Richard AKA Mother Blogger has started to change his life habits to loose 60 pounds.”

“We have Martha in the field… Martha could you describe what you see?”

“Thank you Bob, I am now right at the “Happy piglet farm” and there are a lot of excitement in the air… I’ll be brief… there are also some fume and my eyes are starting to run.”

“Martha what is all the commotion about?”

 “You will not believe this (Martha talking to the cameraman: -Mark can you aim the camera at them-) as you can see there are thousand of pigs on their knees, thanking the God of Pig for saving their bacon.”

“But Martha do pigs really have knees?”

“This is it Bob, until now …”

“Sorry Martha I have to cut you off, there is a press conference about to start on the stock market exchange…”

“John this is Bob can you hear me?”

 “Yes Bob I can hear you now. A spokesman for the stock market is about to address us… here he is…”

“Thank you, I am Mr Cash. I’d like to reassure the population that the economy will suffer but it should recuperate at some point. Since the news about Richard, there has been panic on the floor. Specifically Mcdonald, KFC, FriesAreUs, Duncan Donuts and many in the restaurant industry are showing a considerable drop in their stock price. We have stopped trading on those shares for now…”

“John you still there?”

“Sorry Bob, we have been cut off… I was just talking to one of the analyst and he was mentioning to me that those shares lost 12 points, he didn’t think that it will go further, he seems to think that it is about the same as what the Mother Blogger will loose around the waist.”

“Thanks John, we have to go to Elaine.”

“Elaine you just interviewed Mo B… what was his comment”

“Yes Bob, I caught up with him at the grocery store, he was in the chips aisle walking fast so that the movement of the cart kept him from stopping. When asked for a comment he replied:”

“Shut up!!!!”

Now back to your regular programming.”

If you are smiling… it is a good exercise!J



Thursday, January 19, 2012

Group Therapy



Today I had my post almost done… I changed my mind and will post that one later. One of the subjects was about statistics. I don’t know why or where but my mind was working on something else about statistics…

On the top right corner, there is a map. The map shows every one that has been to the blog since I installed this app (2 days). The latest count is 26 visitors that read it so far. I was thinking that if all of you had been in a room to listen about me, from me, I would have frozen. I can talk in front of a group about subjects that are not personal, but when it comes to me, I am closed on personal matter.

It is not in me to use myself as an “example”, but because of the blog, I do it. It is not within my comfort zone, I would rather have teeth pulled out but in the blog I want to be opened.

I know that the main reason is that I don’t feel entitlement to be “someone” for others. When I was a kid, my mom’s nickname for me was: “Grosse loche” which translate as “Fat snail”. I was a neglected child… I won’t go into details, but, when I was a kid, I didn’t know I was neglected, it was when I had children of my own that I started to understand. Strange but what I want to do the most right this minute is to defend myself… or probably rather defend the child.

I don’t have any contact with anyone from my family. It has been this way for over 15 years. I don’t even know if my mom is still alive. Just to show you how unconnected I am. The trigger event was one phone call… My mom called to ask me if I could lend her, and one of my brother, money. I did! However, the interest rate was outrageous… I wanted to get some answers. Never the less, I didn’t get answers… well I got one: “Richard I don’t want to talk about the past”. It’s not the call in itself that got me on my way… it is all the other times when there was no call.

At the time, she called for her need, my wife and I had been together for 18 years, I had one child that was 11 years old and the other 9. My mom never called for their birthday or for any holiday, never bothered to send a card, a gift, anything. She didn’t even know their names. She probably didn’t even know my wife’s name too. I didn’t care about me, but I would not put up with having my kids neglected.

I forgive and don’t hold any grudges with them. During the past 15 years, if she would have called, I would have answered and listened! But, like before, the phone didn’t ring and I am not waiting for it to ring.   

This post is not about that, this post today is about thanking the people that are in my life, thanking also those 26 visitors that take time to read. I would be expected to be humble… but I’m NOT! I am so glad that people take time to read what I say, I keep looking at the stats and just can’t believe that perfect strangers, can enjoy enough about me that they come back. I am really proud and to tell you the truth… I barely touch the ground when I see this.

I am smiling… and I’m thanking all of you


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Humourless in Ottawa

This is kind of an intervention…

Since I started blogging my days begin with me sitting at the computer, doing last tune-up to my post and then hitting the “Publish” button. Following this, I go straight to my favourite blog-her. She posts late in the evening, so I am always happy to see what she is up to. I don’t want to give her name but I’m sure she will recognize herself. She blogs about everything in her life, could be her last trip, her g’baby, her relationship… let just say that what she writes comes from a lot deeper than I ever wrote about. Often after reading it, I spend a lot of times thinking about her post. What do you want… I’m a slow thinker (can you spell introvert J)! ONE thing that I have problem with is age… this is my intervention!

I remember I was 18 or 19, my wife will also recall this, my brother Jean was 24-25 (we are 6 years apart). At the time, he was in a “low end” job… working nights getting the minimum wage. He couldn’t see an exit. He told us that he was too old and he couldn’t do anything else!!! He was gifted… he had healthy plants all over his house; aquarium where he was breeding his own fish; and birds. He could have been the best in town in either fields (pet store or florist). But in HIS mind, he was too old. It just doesn’t matter what is right in front of you, it is what you see that will get you walking! I don’t have any relationsip with members of my family, I cut that off, but the last time I saw my brother he was 37 years old. He had started a business of putting up temporary garages that he would install in the fall and take down in the spring. He was also working at the same type of business as when he was in his twenties still hating the work and he still hating the business… I’m sure that now that he is 58, nothing has changed.

Age is relative…
When I was in my twenties, I was told: wait when you will be in the thirties
When I was in my thirties, it was: wait when you will be in your forties
When I was in my forties, wait when you will be in your fifties…
I am pretty sure that if I keep listening to people, I’ll still be waiting for my hundreds! The worst is what was I waiting for?
There is a huge price to waiting: Time

To get back to my favourite blog-her, age is relative, not time! You can’t do anything about one, no magic cream yet, but time you can change the quality of it. It depends where you are looking. You can be an ‘almost’ 69 young lady and hunt down a fulfilling relationship. This relationship could be with yourself, a new one and it could also be the current one. It is your choice. You might seek one where there is tenderness, comprehension, and/or humour or work that in now. As far as time, if my theory holds true… and your mother died at 94… you might still have 30 years ahead! I am NOT judging, I don’t know what is better for anyone, most of the time; I have no clue what is better for me. I am only starting to understand that if something smells funny… it is not always coming from a clown.

She posted about consciousness earlier this week, I didn’t comment at the time, it had to go on my burner at low… but to me, consciousness is where you are controlling your sight (you might even consciously choose to keep your eyes close). If you are self-conscious, you might find everything wrong with you, but it could also mean you see all that is right! And I think that we can say the same thing about anything else…  My brother had consciously decided that he was not going any where… and he was right. There is nothing wrong with minimum wage jobs, as long as you are where you want to be! In his case, enormous waste of potential… that is heart breaking.  

I know I should wait when I'll be in my sixties...

I have this quote on my wall at work:

Make play a high priority in your life for if you die tomorrow no one can play
for you, but someone will do your work for you!!

Not sure where I took it, could be from a blog I was reading, if you recognize this quote as yours, please let me know, I will gladly give you credit. Meanwhile, a little Pink Floyd... 

Time

Ticking away the moments
That make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours
In the off-hand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground
In your home town
Waiting for someone or something
To show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today

And then the one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun



If you are smiling… You have time!