Let me get a load off…

Sigh! It is time… I will be loosing 60 pounds before our retirement date (Nov 1^st, 2013). This is 2.9 pounds per month. Boy that would be something on my almost perfect body ha ha. For sure my wife will need to get a new prescription for her glasses.

Maybe some readers from the US are wondering… “hey isn’t Canada using metric system”… Good observation eh! We do! Let me tell you that it was not the population who asked for the metric system.  It was a political decision, in the seventies, and we know that there are plants out there that have more reasoning than politicians. After about 40 years, I adopted Celsius degrees and distance in KM. But as far as centimetre... no idea… I still measure in foot and inches.  Same thing with the weight, I know what one pound of ground beef is, but don’t ask me to bring back 300 grams of it. For my weight, I know how many pounds I am… it is really light… for a Sumo wrestler! Ah maybe I should wait then. NOT!

In the next few days, I’ll work on a plan. Monday is the day that I’ll be starting to change my habits. I have a great example at home; my daughter lost more than 100 pounds… a real looser!J… I’ll try to talk her into coaching me… wouldn’t that be something! I must be getting old… taking good example from my kids… what is next? Changing my diapers! Don’t worry Caro, I’m just kidding… I can still change my own diaper, thank you very much!

Now this will be posted so that everyone can see… I won’t be able to take back what I said… Well I can always delete the post, but what about if someone, like a reporter, saw it… This is how it could go:

If you could take a deep voice to simulate the reporter (Bob) that would help with the following shit-uation:

“We are sorry to interrupt the current programming. This is a special news bulletin.”

“Hi this is Bob, we heard from reliable sources that Richard AKA Mother Blogger has started to change his life habits to loose 60 pounds.”

“We have Martha in the field… Martha could you describe what you see?”

“Thank you Bob, I am now right at the “Happy piglet farm” and there are a lot of excitement in the air… I’ll be brief… there are also some fume and my eyes are starting to run.”

“Martha what is all the commotion about?”

 “You will not believe this (Martha talking to the cameraman: -Mark can you aim the camera at them-) as you can see there are thousand of pigs on their knees, thanking the God of Pig for saving their bacon.”

“But Martha do pigs really have knees?”

“This is it Bob, until now …”

“Sorry Martha I have to cut you off, there is a press conference about to start on the stock market exchange…”

“John this is Bob can you hear me?”

 “Yes Bob I can hear you now. A spokesman for the stock market is about to address us… here he is…”

“Thank you, I am Mr Cash. I’d like to reassure the population that the economy will suffer but it should recuperate at some point. Since the news about Richard, there has been panic on the floor. Specifically Mcdonald, KFC, FriesAreUs, Duncan Donuts and many in the restaurant industry are showing a considerable drop in their stock price. We have stopped trading on those shares for now…”

“John you still there?”

“Sorry Bob, we have been cut off… I was just talking to one of the analyst and he was mentioning to me that those shares lost 12 points, he didn’t think that it will go further, he seems to think that it is about the same as what the Mother Blogger will loose around the waist.”

“Thanks John, we have to go to Elaine.”

“Elaine you just interviewed Mo B… what was his comment”

“Yes Bob, I caught up with him at the grocery store, he was in the chips aisle walking fast so that the movement of the cart kept him from stopping. When asked for a comment he replied:”

“Shut up!!!!”

Now back to your regular programming.”

If you are smiling… it is a good exercise!J