Weight coachs

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.  - John Updike

Friday night met with Cruella the weight coach… she wants me to drink 8 cups of water a day, coffee/beer/wine won’t do. I know what you are thinking:  “call 911 she wants to drown him” What the heck… 8 cups of water is she serious? Please if anything happens to me CALL the insurance there is something fishy and it is not coming from the fish and chips!

Now if that was not terrible enough… apparently I will have to log into Spark People every thing I eat… The site will tell me when I reach my daily limit. What about if after breakfast I have reached my limit?? “Dad you still have the water” grrrrrr I’m actively looking for a new coach, I think the interview should be done at Pizza Hut –I heard that there is an outstanding buffet!

My immediate goal for the next 20 weeks is to loose 20 pounds. You don’t need to get the calculator out… I did a quick mental calculation and it will be 1 pound a week. This is one third of my goal. But, it is the easiest. I am not planning to accomplish that by exercising…

I am really not in shape to start an exercise program. I used to run 10 km (6 miles) and really enjoyed this time. I stopped because my knees were starting to show signs of early deterioration… If I had kept it up, today I might be walking like a 60 years old man ha ha ha

To loose all those muscle (ya right!), I will be changing my bad eating habits. I will probably go all the way to the dark side and have a lot of vegetables and fruits. Yesterday I was talking about bear ‘poop’… now… let’s not go there, I wouldn’t want to loose readers tooJ. I DECIDED to change my habits; I am a bit of an excessive person, so to me it is easier to have a routine than have choices available.

For breakfast, every working day, I will have yogurt, cereal and some berries. NO coffee, nothing wrong with a cup of coffee but when I drink my coffee… muffins, donuts, toasts just seems to find their way to my mouth. It is easier to not be tempted than fighting temptation (I am NOT an exorcist to fight those temptations off!!)  

For lunch, soup with lots of vegetables, some beans, and some meat. If Cruella doesn’t know… I might get one (of the biggest in the bag I can find) soda crackers. Now if anyone at work sees me cheating… I authorize you to write to my coach: Cruella@DontEatThat.com   

Last meal (not as ever) will be our regular meal, but I will measure the quantities and only eat what I am allowed.

My coach has an assistant, the Wicked Witch of the East. If you read the post  let me get a load off, she made a long comments, she seems really reasonable. DON’T GET FOOLED by her! She was telling me to go ahead eat what I want, allow some treats if I want, but in no way she meant it. It’s only her way to start controlling my mind. Between meals, I’ll have ‘healthy” snacks, nothing else. Ah ah Wicked you will need to find other ways.   

If I reach my weekly goal of a pound, my daughter said that as a reward, I could get an extra 2 carrots sticks… I heard about the carrot and stick… I had to do more research about carrots… I learned that it’s the vegetable you give to horses as a treat… neiiight for me Cruella!

If you are smiling… nothing wrong with that!!!