Not so Silent Night (30 Shades of Christmas – 17)

Captivity Day 2

Our first night in captivity was terrible. I have never been in a maximum security jail before, the occupants being on the naughty list I don’t have a reason to visit, but I imagine it’s something similar to what I experienced last night. 

We were sleeping head to toe on a shelf, giving a new meaning to shelf life. I have never slept with my “cellmate” before, boy does he snore! It kept me awake most of the night. I must admit, I did poke him several times and acted as if I was sleeping all along.  The poking made the incoming-train-like-noise stop for a while.

I think the mouse thought we were there for her amusement, she came in, got almost in Ray’s face, ran around, stared at me, probably thinking “look at me, look at me, I can get in and out no problem!”  If she comes close to me, I’ll shave her moustache off!

In the morning Ray woke up and asked: “What’s for breakfast.”

“Ray” I answered “Lets play the Hunger Game. Who ever survive can eat the loser.” For a strange reason, Ray hasn’t spoken about eating anymore!

I think Ray was feeling a little self-conscious and talking would be a good way of forgetting about our current predicament. He said: “Krissie you haven’t told me why you were with a police officer?”

“That’s right I forgot about that. The safe is empty, I still can’t figure out what happened with my LIST ©!”

“Oh that!” he answered looking uneasy.

“I decided to surprise you for Christmas, I enrolled all the elves and during the night we digitized the LIST ©. The elves were wearing slippers so to not wake you up and ruin the surprise. You should have seen it; they were all lined up, from the safe to the shop, passing the books from one to the other. At the shop, it went like clock work, one was scanning the LIST ©, passing it to the next one who was shredding it. We will use the shredded paper to pack delicate gifts; see we are recycling in the North Pole!”

“Every name has been saved on our server, here is my present.” He got a small electronic gadget from his pocket and handed it to me.

“I had no time to wrap it but it’s a Global Positioning Santa System (GPSS V1.00), it is password protected so we don’t need a safe any more. Every name and address has already been downloaded. On Christmas Night when you will activate your GPSS, it will map your whole delivery route for you in the most efficient way.”  

I had to bite my tongue. If he had just locked the safe and left a note inside in case I came in, we would not be in this jail right now.

I want to put my hands around his neck and stop the air flow, but knowing it’s the thought that counts I just said: “Thanks Ray, it’s the most thoughtful gift I have ever received.”

I can’t help to add, with a sarcastic tone: “If we ever get out of here, it will be really useful.”

The longer we are stuck here the more Christmas spirit escapes me!

To be continued…